Work can be stressful and demanding. People are complex and intricate creatures. There’s every chance at some point in your life you are going to hate working for others. But what can you do about it? Let’s explore some ways to handle this potential situation.
If you find yourself in a position where you hate working with others you have to take ownership of the situation. You can’t rely on others to spot your frustrations; because not everyone is good at spotting those signals. But you can review your situation and decide what to do about it.
But how do you analyse your situation and what is the best course of action to take? Firstly, you need to try and examine the situation. Then you can start to make choices and take action. You’ll know when you reach the right course of action because it will allow you to achieve personal growth and make progress without cause unnecessary harm to others.
Analyse if your hate is justified
This element is really important, which is why it’s first on the list. It’s totally OK to feel hate. It’s a natural human emotion. The question is, is your hate misplaced? If you hate working for someone because they always remind you to get on with your work and be productive, because you are often on your phone or talking with other people about non-work related things and basically not working, then you probably can’t justify your hatred.
If however, you hate working for someone because they are always criticising you but not giving you praise when you do good things or you realise that the principles and values of the organisation don’t match your own or you realise that you are always having work dumped on you that could be shared with others, then maybe your hatred is absolutely justified and understandble.
But first, really take some time to explore your thoughts and feelings and make sure that your stance isn’t just an irrational emotional one that makes you look like you are being sulky.
Try and see things from their perspective
One of the other best places to start is to try and see things from the perspective of the other person or people involved. Maybe they hate working with you too? So, maybe the hate that they feel towards you is justified because of the way that you act. Maybe it is you that needs to change your attitude and behavior.
Or maybe not. Maybe you are genuinely being mistreated, disrespected, and taken advantage of. In which case you have every right to feel the way you feel.
The important thing is to establish a clear picture of who is doing what in the situation. Then you can establish whose behavior is unacceptable and who it is that needs to change and develop.
Speak with them and discuss your concerns
If you feel like the relationship you have with these people allows you to, then express your feelings in a conversation with them. Just ask them to give you some of their time to have a talk. In truth, a good leader and manager should frequently touch base with their staff and have mechanisms in place that allow them to gauge how happy their staff are.
If they don’t have that, then maybe that is the problem that you need to raise with them.
Get someone else to sit in and mediate the conversation
If you don’t feel like you can easily have a conversation with them then see if you can get someone else to sit in on the conversation. The smart thing to do here is have someone from Human Resources be that person; so go and speak to that department if your organisation has one.
If your organisation doesn’t have an HR department then ask another manager or perhaps a colleague to be present. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that then it might be time to just look at moving on. The worst thing you can do is stay put and allow yourself to stagnate.
Broaden your perspective. Explore terminology
One way to change the way you feel about the situation almost instantly is to explore who, or rather what, you actually work for.
Work for a cause with others. Not for others with a cause.
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It’s really important in any situation to recognise the language and terminology people are using. You can get a good sense of someone’s mindset and attitude just by picking up on the small details; which some people will see as not being important.
For example, does someone say “You work for me” or do they say “You work for JAWS Job Search” ? When someone refers to the mistakes of others do they say “I failed” “You failed” or “We failed” ? All these subtle differences give a reflection of someone’s attitude towards them-self and towards others.
If your organisation has a mission, vision, and values what are they? How are they constructed? Can you see what philosophy and culture that is being created just by acknowledging what words have been chosen to make it.
Go self-employed and work for yourself
If you really hate working for others that much then maybe go self-employed. But remember, depending on what it is you decide to do, in some ways even when you are self-employed you are actually working for other people. Whether you intend to provide a product or a service you are going to need customers. So, technically you kind of work for them. You need to keep them happy in order to get repeat business.
That said, obviously the main thing about being self-employed is that you get to make the big decisions.
So, you can define the way you want to work for or with your customers.
Find a job with more autonomy
If you don’t want to go self-employed, but find it difficult working for others, then one option could be to find a job that allows you to work more alone. Until you can get into a position where you can be a manager, you are probably going to have a manager; and unfortunately some managers are megalomaniacs who like to micromanage.
But if you get a job where managers have to leave you alone so you can do your job, then that could be one way around the problem of hating working for others.
Take a break
Take a break. Book some time off. Have a rest. Relax. Remove yourself from the situation for a little while. Do you really hate working for other people or do you just hate working for other people at this moment in time? Maybe your job and your role is what you’ve always wanted. Maybe you are working in the best environment for you. Maybe it’s just a phase.
When you come back, if after a few hours, days, or weeks you still find that you feel the same way then you absolutely have to start figuring out a new course of action.
Hate is a strong word, develop your emotional spectrum
Finally, hate is a really strong word. Especially if we are going to use a model that puts love and hate at the opposite ends of the same spectrum. If that’s the case then it would actually be the strongest word we could use to define how strongly we feel towards something. If so, then it’s worth exploring how to develop your emotional spectrum and emotional intelligence. Start by adding to your vocabulary. Expand the palette of words you can use to describe something.
Maybe instead of hate you use:
Loathe
Despise
Detest
Dislike
Don’t care for
Maybe instead of hate something just:
Bothers you
Annoys you
Frustrates you
Niggles at you
Does your head in
Confuses you
Irritates you
There are infinite ways to look at any situation. You have to use your gut and your head and try and find a balance between the two. Once you’ve done that, you need to set a plan and continually pursue it.
